"When you start to think of pressure you already thinking about failure!" this is a quote from a famous baseball manager.
I have been thinking the last few weeks of the pressure I put on myself to achieve, which led me to this quote. This was actually quite enlightening for me. I in the past felt pressure racing, but raced with the attitude of I want to win and...I'll race my hardest and what will be will be. In the last two years I have definitely noticed a shift to feeling the need to perform. It was no longer good enough to have a fantastic race, I now felt the need to improve on each race, to place, to make money. The focus was no longer on having fun and doing the best I can.
Every time I race, it means so much to me. After,I need to dissect every part of the race and if it was not fantastic I dwell on it for a week at least trying to figure what went wrong and how I can improve!
I am coming to the realization though that I need to go back to the care free way I raced before. I love this sport and I love to race and anything that I can accomplish from now on is just icing on the cake. Of course I have goals both big and small and these are what keep my passion for the sport alive.
I am racing Eagleman 70.3 and have been going back and forth about doing it. I have my daughters first ballet concert Saturday afternoon. This is her first BIG moment and I shall be there as a proud and supportive mom. With the hectic training schedules I always try be there for all the moments. So hence I shall drive up to Maryland Saturday evening and hopefully just make bike check in at 9pm. This is going to be a little exhausting and not the way I like to race but I do love this race and I don't want to miss it. I have decided to bring the whole family and stay an extra day after the race as Maryland is so pretty and I love the ferry ride back.
I am feeling fit and very well prepared to race. I have alot of friends racing it and of course I want to do well and I will race as hard as I can race day. But I shall not be consumed by the thought of winning or failure and I shall just enjoy having my family and friends there to support me and enjoy the mini vacation we shall make of it.